"They look like fish fingers to me, and i would never eat a fish finger."

Blogging has taken second place over the last few days as Opeie hasn't been feeling too great and neither has Mrs M. Because of the weather on top of that we've not really been out anywhere. After dropping Mrs M off at work this morning and Seth at school I brought the snotty nosed one home and asked him if he wanted to read some books. He said yes and then proceeded to take his clothes off, this is Opeie's little book reading ritual, he has to be completely naked while reading books in our bed. Am i allowed to be dressed? No! I have to join the nudey gang for ultimate relaxation. We went through the boys bookshelf and as usual he picked around 30 for us to plough through.

After about 10 books grandad phoned for a chat and while I had a little break from the books and chatted I looked for things for Opeie to nibble on as he hasn't touched much of his breakfast due to losing his appetite a little. Opeie continued to read the books he knew well to himself in his own very cute way. After my phone call I got back in to bed to continue our reading session. Opeie handed me a Charlie and Lola book that I don't remember reading all the way through and I'm glad he did. The book was all about food and I though I would use Opeie's excitement to my advantage.

After getting through all but three I think of the books he had chosen it was lunch time. I decided that Charlie and Lola would be the theme of our lunch and used the book to get Opeie to eat by cooking him carrots, peas, mash and fish fingers. Good old Charlie and Lola! The lunch went down quite well and opeie managed to eat a good amount. Because of all his allergies and food intolerance's it can be quite frustrating finding fun new things to eat and it can be really difficult when he is ill and has lost his appetite. We tend to have to think outside the box sometimes when it comes to his eating. One time we even had to have him flying round the room like superman swooping down to each mouthful just to get him to eat. Today's great result has got me searching through his books looking for new ideas, needless to say i wont be trying 'Green eggs and Ham' just yet.

"Childhood is the sleep of reason."

Opeie's new favourite role playing activity in the house is making a bed for his toys and making sure they are comfy and tucked up. It seems that any time of the day is appropriate and once they've got their heads down they are expected to stay there for quite sometime. I can't help but think 'why has he not taken a leaf out of his play routine and opted to sleep through the night?' Spider-Man doesn't seem to have a choice.

Opeie has never slept through the night and many nights end up being a constant battle......... For Mrs M haha. I'd love to help but my lack of the mammary gland and the fact that a brass band could walk through our room and I wouldn't wake up makes it virtually impossible. With enough kicking though I have been known to open a window, plug the fan in and get Opeie medicine when he's ill so I'm not all bad and i do get up in the mornings early so Mrs M can have a catch up.

Hopefully Opeie will start sleeping properly soon but the fact that he is such a boobie monster is the main problem (wonder where he gets that from?). Maybe if Opeie keeps making beds around the house for his toys eventually he will realise the importance of sleep. He even puts toys to bed when were out and about last week at the toy museum he took the cushion off a sofa in the dolls house and tucked the postman in.

Mrs M had an old new born crib that we had been using as a magazine rack since we moved in so we emptied it, made a mattress and looked for suitable bedding for Opeie's favourite super hero. I found a little patterned pillow from Ikea for him and put it in and Opeie looked at me with a really disappointed face then removed said cushion. I couldn't work out why he seemed so annoyed until he came bopping across the room clutching his spider-man head cushion (silly daddy). I'm really loving how he knows what he wants and is quite independent.

I thought his little bed was complete but Opeie had obviously gone in to dad mode and knew what was best for his new little boy. Turns out that Spider-man doesn't get a decent nights sleep unless he's wearing a pair of safety goggles, I'll have to let Mrs M in on that little tip.

"To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often"

 As I sat In the cinema on my own a last week I was thinking a lot about how different my life had become over the last 3 years. I was never the sort of person that would have gone to the cinema on my own. In fact I would look at the people in the cinema on their own and think 'its such a shame that they have no friends, how does that happen?' How naive I was. I don't live near any of my close friends and Mrs M being my best friend makes it impossible for us to do anything together (at least until Opeie is a little older).

So anyway there I was, the first time I went alone it felt odd but now it just seems like the norm. I wanted to see the film so going alone it was. It wasn't just the cinema habits that had changed though, there are much more significant changes. I think I have done all I can to avoid responsibility in my life. I've had management work positions but if I'm honest I never really took them seriously, in fact i never really took anything seriously. It was all about partying for me and any chance i could get to wear something crazy I'd be all over it. I lived for my own personal time. But now I find myself with limited personal time and in the most responsible position I could ever be in, the work of a stay at home dad never ends it is a 24 hour a day job and its the happiest I have ever been.

I don't crave time on my own anymore, I tend to feel bad when I am not with my family because although there are times when there are things I need to do and places I need to be all I really want is to be With Mrs M and the boys. They are the best and most reliable friends I have ever had. If someone had have told me a few years ago that this is where my life would be I probably would have just laughed. Just goes to show what the love of a great woman and a stable relationship can do.

Some people really take for granted what they have. As I mentioned in a previous post, life is about moments, no matter how trivial, they are all important. When your truly happy (and sometimes that doesn't happen a lot) you need to fully embrace your situation. I've come a long way since being that guy whose main concern was 'what colour shall I dye my hair next' (not that i have that option anymore) or 'where shall I have my next tattoo' but when I think about it I wasn't happy I was just filling my life with unimportant things, in fact I wasn't really living, I think I was just going through the motions. It's a shame really but I think if I had had children earlier in my life I wouldn't have appreciated being a dad like I do now. Sometimes going through all the rubbish, disfunctional relationships, and general awkwardness is just want you need to prepare yourself for that one magical relationship.

 I still haven't grown up, i mess around, I'm laid back and i still try not to take things too seriously, the costumes may have changed but now i have a great reason for it. The boys laugh when i show them old pictures of myself and Mrs M is always entertained by crazy stories of my past. Sometimes i cringe when i think of the person i once was but i have no regrets. All the bad, the crazy and the cringe worthy has made me who i am today.

To succeed in your mission, you must have single-minded devotion to your goal.

Play patrol mission 1.2 and we're an agent down, Secret agent Seth is on a sabbatical so the mission will be taken by our mini agent. When i first met Seth he was train mad and had quite a collection of pieces for his wooden track. He still loves it now but it's only been the last month that it's come back out of it's boxes. I didn't think that Opeie would be that interested being the super hero addict that he is but he's been loving it, just goes to show that little boys love trains. They are great for younger children because they are so easy to connect together.

When we opened our package from Bigjigs Toys and saw what was inside Seth got really excited 'wow its a train spinney part, they are my favourite parts'. We had been sent the industrial turntable and we couldn't wait to get building our track. Sadly as i said before Seth wasn't with us when we first played with it but Opeie took full advantage. I love building the train track as its different everytime you build it, very important when keeping your children interested in a toy.

The Industrial Turntable is a great compliment to the other Bigjigs toys items that we own. Its a large piece and has 6 exits coming off it. Opeie loved the sliding stop start sign that changes from green to red. Great for teaching Opeie about when to go and stay (Great for explaining the importance of waiting at traffic lights when were out and about too). What i love most about Bigjigs toys is because of the quality of the items and the timeless designs these are 'forever toys'. When the boys have both outgrown them they will be put in to storage for their children hopefully. Even if that was in 30 years, because of the design they will never look dated. Not all toys stand the test of time but these will make an appearance for many many years to come.

"There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle."

You can't beat the good old fashioned ways to keep your children entertained. Jigsaws are timeless, I played with them when I was younger, the boys love them now and I'm quite sure that if we're lucky enough to have grandkids in the future they will too. Their great for quiet play which can come in handy every now and again if you need to get things done or if someone is sleeping in the house.

I was always told to start with the corners and then do all around the edges. These days though I tend to throw caution to the wind and start with the first piece I pick up. Unfortunately Seth is a stickler for the rules so it was corners and sides all the way. Jigsaws a great way for teaching the boys about shapes and spatial awareness. 

Doing our Toadstool Pirate Jigsaw today made me think of a comment i had on one of our posts earlier In the year. A reader had left a negative comment about a shape sorter and how it wasn't good as the wrong shapes could be pushed through other holes (obviously another one of Seth's lot who stick to the rules). But as i said in the reply the same could be said about jigsaws, Opeie sat there today attaching pieces that didn't go together but they did fit. This is where you jump in as a parent and explain, There's a valuable lesson to learn there that is relevant in many aspects of life. 'just because that's the easy way it doesn't make it correct!'

"Good humour is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison"

I love Seth to bits and will always treat him like my own. He's very intelligent and grown up for his age, has some fantastic qualities and he comes out with some great one liners. I've never written a post with anything negative in about the boys before but yesterday's actions have spurred one on. As a parent I do everything i can to make my boys happy, if you're a regular reader then you know that myself and Mrs M go above and beyond to make sure the boys as happy as they can be. Because of this, the effort we make and the love and affection that both of them receive I can not tolerate unneccesary moaning and grumpy behaviour. Last night he started crying over nothing and informed us he hadn't had a good day and was very unhappy with no reason to back it up. The crying i can deal with as i know that children can find it difficult to deal with emotions but i don't like grumpyness, having an attitude and being rude, there's just no need.

After 10 minutes of his behaviour it was clear that us talking to him was having no effect so we asked him to go in to his room and sit quietly for 3 minutes to calm down. After the initial first thirty seconds where he cranked his mood up a notch and did everything he could to override the short cooling off period I had requested he calmed down and sat quietly. Once the three minutes were up I walked in to his room and asked him a series of questions (Seths response is in red):

• Does it upset you that me and mommy don't give you any affection? What's affection? (I then explained) you and mommy always give me kisses and cuddles and tell me you love me (in an abrupt tone)

• Are you hungry, do you not get fed enough? I'm always eating, there's always food!

• When you want to play and we don't want to join you does that upset you? You always sit and play with me!

• How about reading? We read together EVERY day!

• Seth have a look around your room, what do you see? Books, Toys and Games! Just a couple? No there's lots!

I'm not going to go on with the questions I'm sure you get where I'm going with this. I did continue by explaining the luxury that is taken for granted by many people, walking to the kitchen, turning on the tap and filling a glass with clean drinkable water. I told him about children being mistreated and people suffering in other countries (which Mrs M has also explained to him on more than one occassion) I then asked him one simple question.

Have you really got anything to be sad about, Do you feel like you should be treated better?

Well you dont need me to tell you want he said. He's a smart child and very rarely has these outbursts. I am fully aware that Seth has issues, being from a broken family is difficult i know that from my own childhood but he has a lot of people around him that love him dearly. When he is upset about something to do with this we talk to him like an adult and answer his questions as best we can.

Needless to say Seth understood what I was trying to say, wiped his face, apologised, gave me a cuddle and left the room to apologise to Mrs M too. We never got to the bottom if what it was that upset him today but as with every issue in our house once it is talked about, whether we get to the bottom of it or not we take out our imaginary pens and draw a line under it.... Until the next bout!

At bed time Seth very lovingly said 'I'm really sorry about my behaviour tonight' and that sort of honest apology means everything to us. Seth knows how lucky he is, he may have a room full of toys, books and games but his real wealth is the amount of attention and affection he gets from us and that will never change no matter what mood he is in.


*I had to use relevant pictures from the boys favourite books, i didn't think shoving a camera in Seth's face and asking him to pose during his melt down was appropriate. (it would have been funny though!!!)

"Colors, like features, follow the changes of the emotions."

"I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back. "

Have you ever walked down the street and spotted a child's toy lying on the side of the pavement, a lonely shoe or a single glove? whenever i see one i always feel a little sad at the thought of the poor child that's missing it, if they have even realised. That was us today, missing a toy and we didn't even know it yet. Today as i cleaned the kitchen i started to think 'i wonder how that toy would feel if it had feelings?'

Because I'm probably a little crazy and I'm always randomly coming up with strange ideas (usually when I'm washing up), i decided tonight i was going to indulge myself and let one of my ideas be the basis of the post. There's many great films out there that start off at the end of the film, the closing of the main story or an event that follows and then they back track to the beginning. Pulp fiction or Sin city for example. One of my favourites and my theme for the post is 'American beauty'.

So now I'm going to leave you in the capable hands of the star of the show, our lost toy...

"My name is Mr Fish. This is my neighborhood. 

This is my street. This... is my life. 

I'm about 5 hours old. In less than an hour, I'll be dead...

Of course, I don't know that yet.

But lets go back to where the story began.

It all started at around 10am, i was freed from my beautifully decorated bubble wrap cocoon.
I was from a place called The Toadstool,
A magical place where they find homes for new toys like me.

My new owner, a handsome looking boy,

blonde flowing locks and a smile that was contagious.

He barely put me down all morning, taking me everywhere he went.

It was bliss.

Look at me, Skeleton hanging out of my body.

This will be the high point of my day. 

It's all downhill from here.

At around three i was taken outside by my new owner.
He's only young, he doesn't understand, he dropped me in the street.
I was alone in the world and as i lay there in the pouring rain,
i was ignored by many passers by, left with no chance of survival.

I guess I could be pretty annoyed about what happened to me... 

but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, 

my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst...

...and then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, 

and then it flows through me like rain 

and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...

You have no idea what I'm talking about, 

I'm sure. But don't worry... 

You will someday."

Now i'm not going to leave the story on a bad ending that's not my style, plus you have already seen the picture of Mr Fish lying in the rain so you may have already guessed that he found his way back to us. On the way back to the car we saw him in the street. I had no idea that Opeie had even taken him out of the car, let alone dropped him. But there he was with his cold dead eyes looking up at us. He wasn't gone forever and with a little resuscitation from Opeie he was back to his old self.

So if you do ever see that lost toy, lonely shoe or single glove spare a thought for the owner, pick it up, leave it on a wall they may be back shortly to collect it. We were one of the lucky ones and Mr Fish will get extra love now off Opeie because of it. Thanks The Toadstool.

"Shouldn't a great museum foster serious seeing before all else?"

Ive been trying to get out and go somewhere fun with Opeie since our trip to the air museum but there always seems to be something that gets in the way. Yesterday although the weather wasn't great it was the perfect chance for us to do something together. Last year one of the moms at Seth's school mentioned there was a toy museum not to far from where we live (well a 45min drive) but I completely forgot about it until Seth brought a letter home from school saying they were going on a school trip there in a few weeks. So I decided that's where we were going.

Mrs M had work and then the gym and I didn't need to get Seth from school so it all worked out quite well. I phoned ahead to make sure that it was suitable for Opeie's age and after packing a lunch we got in the car and began our journey. Opeie wasn't interested in a sing song, a dance or any interaction at all and decided to fall asleep. At least i had the Satnav to talk at me.

I pulled up in the car park and Opeie woke up five minutes later eager to get out the car and look at sheep?? not sure where that came from but that was what he was requesting. Sadly even super dad couldn't magic up sheep today so he headed in to the museum instead. I was a bit disappointed to find out that it wasn't a toy museum but was a museum with a small toy section. As im not really in to coalmines and sport history we headed straight up to the toys, Opeie's little face lit up.

There were some vintage toys but there were also plenty that i didn't think warranted being in a 'museum'. The first room was a series of glass cabinets displaying toys from all era's. It kind of reminded me of the boys great great nanny Robson's lounge, she has a glass cabinet full of fun little treasures from her adventures. Opeie was instantly drawn in by the Teletubbies, I'm not sure they really should have made it in to a toy museum but they were making Opeie smile and that was the main objective of the day.

The visit made it even more clear that we need to get Opeie some sort of play kitchen as he is getting a little more in to role play at the moment. There was a play fruit shop in the second room and Opeie was more than happy sitting there passing me different fruit and veg and messing with the till. I love watching him play he gets so excited, i don't want him to grow up.

I was quite excited (because I'm a big kid) when i found a box of stickle bricks in one of the units there, i used to have some when i was little and it was great to be able to play with them again. In celebration i made a Mrs M, anatomically correct of course (yes I'm very childish).

 

Even though there were only two rooms of toys in the museum there was plenty to do while we were there. We even got to play giant connect 4 and Snakes and ladders.

The clear winner of the day though was the large dolls house, Opeie was blown away by it and its got us thinking maybe we should get one for the house. He loved rearranging the furniture and putting the little wooden people in bed and got really excited putting the little wooden lady on the toilet, i also found it funny as it was actually a bathroom sink.

We had loads of fun at the museum, It was a great way to spend 2 hours but i wouldn't recommend it for a day out as you would run out of things to do pretty quickly. I hope they've got something fun organised for Seth's trip. Now to start looking for some fun things to do next week.