"Trust dies but mistrust blossoms."

I wasn't going to write this post as i didn't want to go through it all again but i think it is important for Opeie to have this to look back on and know why we made the choices we did for his well being, (I've used happy photos of Opeie to perk the post up a little). I know to some people when they talk to me I come across as an over protective parent, I'm really not but I do have high expectations about the level of care the boys receive from outside of myself and Mrs M. We seem to be in that minority of parents around us that makes (apparently obscure) decisions about education and the stepping stones of our children's development. I wrote a while back about how difficult it was letting go of Opeie to start nursery even though at the time i believed it was for the best.... It wasn't and our awful experience has guided us in a different direction for future learning.

I didn't want Opeie to go to nursery and neither did Mrs M but we were concerned about the social side of things so we reluctantly took the difficult step. After many nights chatting we finally found the nursery that we thought appropriate for Opeie and our initial visit couldn't have gone better. A very small Montessori nursery in a quiet and private little village with a school attached to move onto. It all seemed perfect but as we found out early on looks can be deceiving and we were left feeling duped.

The staff seemed very motherly and despite the sick feeling in my tummy at the thought of leaving Opeie with someone else, we placed our trust in them (man am I kicking myself now!). The first few weeks seemed great, Opeie enjoyed going and it seemed that we were far more upset than he was. He came home excited and exhausted from the first couple of sessions and with each one came more confidence for us, that was until a few weeks in. I turned up at the building to pick Opeie up one Friday afternoon and I could hear him screaming, he's not a screamer and only cries if he really hurts himself. I walked in to the area where the parents waited, he caught a glimpse of me and attempted to bolt for the door but was held back, as I tried to get into the room I was purposely obstructed by a member of staff who said "let me explain what happened first", my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I asked her to get out of my way and then pushed past to get to Opeie. It seemed he had had a fall earlier in the day and hadn't calmed down (did they call me? No they did not!). At that moment I didn't want an explanation, it was clear Opeie wanted to get home so we left.

Thinking it was just a fall the following week I took Opeie again and he seemed okay but really not himself. The next session though he was very upset before we had even arrived so when we got there I decided to stay with him despite being told "it would be better if you just left". Five minutes after we arrived another little boy was dropped off who was hysterical. Mom quickly left and the little boy sat facing the door she left out of (his face almost touching the wood), screaming. As I sat there trying to calm Opeie down I noticed that none of the staff were attempting to comfort the poor boy. I sat there for 40 minutes with Opeie and the boy sat there still hysterical. What if that had been Opeie? What made it worse was that the Nursery manager was showing a potential new family around and was sitting less than 10 feet from the distressed boy. Had that been us on the day we had been visiting, Opeie would never have attended. Well I got up and angrily left but was followed out of the door by a member of staff desperately trying to find out my issues. I explained that I was disgusted by what I saw , that it was unacceptable and that I expect more for my son. The response I got... "There are a lot of children in today and it's difficult to tend to them all", there were around fifteen children in that day and there were two staff. Shockingly I wasn't contacted that night by the manager, clearly it wasn't an issue and made me feel like it was common practice.

When we got home I started thinking about the Friday he fell down so (although it seemed a little bad) I sat Opeie down for questioning. Opeie may only be three but when something happens he is always very clear with his explanations of events. It turns out that when he fell during outdoor play the only person that came to him was one of the little girls there. Opeie really changed after that day, he became anxious and really didn't want to go to nursery, the mere mention would send him into a panic attack and each time he would clutch his leg (which even now we have no idea why?). I feel so stupid now but I continued to take him. The following session Mrs M came with me as she was home and I needed to discuss the crying boy and my concerns with the manager. The nursery manager gave me an explanation, I told her I still felt the situation was unacceptable but she seemed sincere. But as Mrs M sat across the room with Opeie she picked up on defensive body language a side of this woman I hadn't seen.

Stupidly, I gave them the benefit of the doubt until one morning dropping Opeie in. He was really upset and although it went against everything I believe in as a parent I left him and walked out, but didn't leave the building. I hid, I watched and I listened, as heartbreaking as it was I stayed there for around 45 minutes and no one tried to comfort Opeie, he wasn't hysterical but upset enough to need comforting. It wasn't until I stepped back slightly that the nursery manager spotted me and shot over to Opeie to calm him down. As you can imagine Opeie was removed from the nursery and to this day I still haven't been given an explanation, I asked many many times "how long would you have left him there had you not seen me?" But was made to feel like I didn't deserve a response.

It's amazing sometimes how situations fall into place and a chance encounter in a toy shop got me chatting to another dad whose daughter just happened to be at the same nursery. Surprise surprise he was also taking his child out because she was being bullied (by four year olds). The nursery managers response was apparently 'there's only so much I can do'. It was nice to have it confirmed that it wasn't just us with issues. In fact since leaving, that was only one of three other instances Ive heard about. After our experience I've realised with the nursery in question the word Montessori is in fact just that, a word. We were disgusted by the level of care we saw there and the experience left Opeie with anxiety issues. Thankfully that was many months ago and our panicky little boy is back to his old self.

This ordeal a long with some terrible things we've witnessed or been made aware of at Seth's school has guided us down the home schooling route. What makes me angry is both of these places have a glowing Ofsted report. Which makes it clear that that bit of paper means absolutely nothing at all. The thing I am most angry about is that I let this happen when I should have taken him out at the first problem, its made me realise I need to be a lot firmer in the decisions we make in regards to the boys and that I should always go with my gut instinct when making these decisions.

So now to prepare for a few years of home education, I wont lie I am very excited so some good has come out what we have been through and at least now we know that Opeie is moving in the right direction. 

"You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win."

Inspired by the recent Golden Brickies and secretly being entertained on an unhealthy level by Mrs M's competitive nature I thought it would be a fun idea this week to have a build off. We had popped to the toy shop to get Opeie something for his good behaviour. Initially he chose a LEGO Ultra Agents kit (which I know will make Mrs Ultra agents very happy), but as he rounded the next aisle the kit was handed back and replaced by the LEGO Disney Princess Rapunzel's Creativity tower. (He's a lover of pink and bright colours just like me).

We had the LEGO City Auto Transporter Sitting at home waiting to be built so I challenged Mrs M to some fun in the bedroom. LEGO being the fun and the boys room being the competition venue. 

The competition kicked off with Mrs M complaining that she had 'more little pieces' than i did and it was going to take her a lot longer to build, but she soon ripped the bags open ahead of me and started getting stuck in. Clearly she wanted the head start because she very quickly asked me to go and put some music on while we were building, which was followed ten minutes later by 'can you put something different on please'. It was Mrs M's usual dirty tactics.

With the auto transporter having 350 pieces, Rapunzels tower coming in at 299 and me being the pro builder i thought the competition was about even so i took my time and played with Opeie as i was creating the LEGO masterpiece. Mrs M had the look of sheer determination on her face and there was no way she was letting me win, she was in it to win it. 

I love the LEGO City kits so i was taking it all in building. The City kits always take me back to being a child. As a little builder back in the 80s, it was a police station, along with lots of road base plates that really started this fascination with LEGO that i still have today. The auto transporter comes with two cars and while Opeie built the two minifigures included, i breezed through making them. But i spent a lot of this time watching what Mrs M was doing. I love the Disney Princess and Friends kits, so much colour.

I was soon on to bag two and Mrs M followed close behind, it was shaping up to be an excellent LEGO battle. Mrs M usually isn't a fan of our beloved bricks but she was building like a pro and had her eyes on the prize. I think Opeie's excitement playing with Rapunzel and Pascal was all the fuel she needed to get the kit built quickly so they could play.

Part of me wished i could have filmed the whole thing as Mrs M's competitive streak had reached its peak. and one point Opeie said 'mommy I've hurt my finger!' the response "I'll have a look at it in a bit". Nothing was taking her attention off the build (that's focus). Not to worry though i tended to Opeie's finger and was back from A&E within the hour (just kidding).

The competition was starting to heat up and Mrs M needed a towel to mop her brow. I think she was feeling more pressure than a day at the office.

Bag 3 and i was on the home stretch but Mrs M's tower was starting to look pretty glorious. To be honest i had decided quite early on that i wish we had swapped kits, I'm a sucker for a bit of pink. While we were building me and Opeie had an in depth conversation about the LEGO Frozen Elsa's castle that's coming out soon and what he wants to do with it if we get it, so cute.

It seemed i had taken Mrs M's building skills for granted and with the trailer still to build while she casually sorted out the towers awesome amount of brightly coloured accessories it was obvious that i needed to up my game before she wiped the floor with me.

It literally came down to the dying seconds, but who won???

Yes I (the household master builder) was beaten, by the family member that claims she doesn't like LEGO. It was a dark day but i held my head high. mainly because i wanted to just get past the gloating so i could play. As my forfeit it was my turn to get tea on while our very own princess put her feet up and played...

Ready for food delivery around 6 o clock!

(oh no!!!! i put the sticker on upside down haha!! i should be ashamed.)

"Hooray for Peter Pumpkinhead"

As a family we have many annual traditions, an array of things that we look forward to throughout the year. I think it's so important as a family to have these special and personal things that we do. It's a way of bringing us together, especially with all the other things going on in our lives.

One of our yearly traditions is picking pumpkins at Essington fruit farm, When the temperature starts to drop that's when i start looking forward to our Halloween trip. I remember the first visit like it was yesterday travelling by tractor up to the Pumpkin patch, Opeie was 7 months old and when i looked back at the pictures a minute ago i was reminded just how little Seth was. It was cold but a lovely sunny day and we laughed and joked around in the field studying each pumpkin so that we could be sure to make the perfect selection

We missed the following year as the weather had been so awful, the crops had been rained off. Last year though it was all go and we were stomping through the pumpkin patch once more. What we didn't realise last year though was that we were not supposed to be in the field, we just made our own way and helped ourselves, oops. I love having these things to look forward to every year and the boys get so excited, It's nice to think these special family outings are giving them great lifelong memories.

So its that time of year again and last weekend seemed like the perfect time to head out on our yearly hunt for something big and orange to stick a knife it. Opeie was a little more excited this year too being that bit older. When we arrived at the farm we couldn't believe how busy it was. There was a country fare on and there were cars and people everywhere. They always have amazing carved pumpkins on show but this year they had the artists there so you could watch them at work.

The queue for the tractor ride up to the pumpkin field was insanely long so we decided to venture up to the pumpkin patch on foot. When we reached the field as always we were greeted by masses of the Halloween fruit ready for the taking...

We had our usual muck about, or should i say, Me and Mrs M as usual were acting like children...

But we were there on serious business and our 3 and 8 year old children informed us of that. Time to pick our pumpkins. picking the right pumpkin is a big decision and one not to be taken lightly. I cant wait to get carving this week.

Our Pumpkin picking session was cut a little short when a tired Opeie fell over in the field and got prickles in his hand, bless him, we were all getting a little cold though so we waited for the tractor to take us back. This years pumpkin picking adventure was complete, now time to let our creative juices run wild.

On the drive home i had a song stuck in my head inspired by the day. A CD I had bought when i was about 14 (wow 20 years ago that's crazy). I'll leave you with the song i was humming all the way home and i hope you have fun carving your pumpkins...

"Cats are connoisseurs of comfort."

I often think about what the pitter patter of a new pair of tiny feet would be like around the house and both me and Mrs M are broody a lot of the time. I didn't for one second think that the next pair of feet in the house would actually be two pairs. For the past few years Mrs M has been going on about getting a cat but over the last few months she was bordering on crazy cat lady status.

Every time she mentioned having a cat, text me a picture of one looking cute or explained how she thinks she's part cat (yes she's crazy), I usually just shrugged it off, that or gave her a list of reasons why not to have one. It's not that I'm not an animal lover I'm just not big on pets for various reasons.

The pressure for a feline sidekick was reaching it's peak though and it was clear that it was inevitable we would at some point be getting a cat. The situation multiplied exponentially when I befriended a real life crazy cat lady called Tabiitha (who has 5 cats), after that there was no turning back.

After finding out about Mrs M's 'lack of cat' predicament, I think Tabiitha made it her mission to get a cat re-homed and in to our house and to be fair it didn't take her long at all. Especially after I received this picture message one morning of a beautiful cat that needed re-homing, even I fell in love with her. We called the owner to arrange a visit and a few weeks back as we were travelling back from a weekend in London we took a detour armed with a pet carrier.

The owners were looking to re-home Polly but had already turned two families away as they didn't think they were the right family for their well loved cat. Obviously because of that we were a little nervous/anxious about the visit. Mrs M had fallen in love and i was really warming to the idea of having a new family member. There really was no need to worry though, we all got on great and spent some time at their home chatting about life (and of course cats).

That afternoon we took her back to her new home. The look on Mrs M's face was priceless and having a cat in the house seems to have really changed her for the better. I also think that coming home to her after a busy day at work is quite relaxing for her. Polly was quite scared for the first week or so which was understandable being taken from her home. I've avoided writing this post until now as I didn't want to spend the first week waving a camera in her face.

She's settled in now and she's one of the family, sleeping at our feet and rubbing noses with Opeie. I was so against having a cat but last week I text Mrs M while she was at work to apologise for all the feline negativity before we got her because I adore how she makes everyone in the house smile and Opeie has clearly got a new best friend which is amazing. She was a little dubious at first when it came to the boys but she follows Opeie about now. One of the things that i think is adorable is that when Opeie wakes up sometimes he is a little teary and Polly responds to him crying by finding him and meowing, it's adorable

Not the tiny feet I had been longing for but honestly I couldn't pick a more adorable fluffy child to fill that void. Polly is one of us now and we feel so lucky to have been the ones to re-home this little beauty. Meeeeeoooooooow!

"There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds."

Hi its Seth I haven't written a post in ages so I decided to write about my LEGO castle I made.

The door at the front is made out of circle pieces because I didn't want to use a door. Through the door there is lots of rooms but first I am going to write about level1. Level 1 doesn't have much in but you can put lots of treasure in it. If you go up the stairs to level 2 that is where you will meet the guards, they are guarding the castle where all the treasure is kept.

In side level 2 there is a treasure storage room there isn't a lot in there. Next to it there is a big jail sell inside it there is bad guys and a bridge. On the bridge there is ropes like a draw bridge.

The canon is to stop enemies attacking it .There is a secret hatch so you can get up and down the steps.

The top is my favourite because it looks like a tree house.

This picture shows that I built it (I love how Seth is making it clear that its his work, they are definitely not the hands of a hand model) .To finish the build i added in lots of minifigures like knights, soldiers, jester, queens guard and a naked viking. even though the guards are good at guarding the castle some soldiers manged to sneak in.

The royal guard dosen't look happy.

The king is guarding the castle on his horse.

 

This is the castle done on the front.

This is a look out tower where the troopers look from, Indiana Jones is keeping watch.

I'm really proud of how it came out and i am now building a pizza shop which i will write about soon. bye x