“Learn something new. Try something different. Convince yourself that you have no limits.”

 

It kind of felt like 2020 was going to go out in exactly the same grey and stagnant way that it has been festering the entire year. I know I shouldn't moan, we're all going through this but having a mass of other rubbish thrown in to the mix was making this year one I was desperate to put behind us. Even without the lockdown madness this time of year has been a testing time for Opeie, shrouded by a mix of emotions and upset. I tried so hard the last couple of years to make 'Christmas' fun again but with no joy, so this year we talked and said 'no more!'. If this year has taught us anything it's shown us what is actually important and also what ever we decide to do (even if it doesn't fit in with other peoples views)... its okay. 

So instead of 'Christmas' this year we have decided to have a celebration of our favourite little creatures 'Beetles', With the build up being filled with beetle related creative activities to decorate the house 'our way'. We've been busy doing all sorts but my favourite thing so far has been decorating the wall in the LEGO room with a series of hanging beetles. This really got us pumped about the upcoming festivities.

What has really made this for me is how much it has taken the strain off of Opeie and has given him the chance to see the end of the year in a different light. This morning he said 'Dad, I'm so excited about Beetlemas!'... and that is all I needed to hear to feel like we are taking control of 2020 again.

"Passion surprises. One doesn't search it. It can happen to you tomorrow."

Day 101-102:

Yesterday seemed to fly by and I didn't take a single photo so I'm lazily adding these two days together. Last year we visited Attingham park a few times around this time of year in search of the Lesser stag for Opeies photo collection of found beetles. Each visit we came away with some photos of some interesting new beetles but sadly never the Lesser stag. As we walked home yesterday through the woodland near us, we turned over logs looking for beetles and there she was, sitting there waiting for a photo. I love how things like this can really make our day and we can now cross off Lesser stag from our list. Next up... we still haven't found Opeie's favourite, the elusive violet ground beetle.

"Insomnia is a vertiginous lucidity that can convert paradise itself into a place of torture."

Day 87:

Life is really starting to get me down, It seems like the only thing I can get right these days is being a dad, which to be fair is a pretty good job as I love that kid to bits. It doesn't look like I'm going to be sleeping tonight as my head is so busy and I'm struggling to clear the noise, so I decided to paint, because it's one of the few things that seems to calm me these days. I'm so thankful for this creative brain of mine, I feel like I'd be a wreck without it.

Struggling to sleep yourself? Heres some handy information from Snoozy Monk about insomnia to get you through.

"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it."

Day 83:

I don't know what we'd do if it wasn't for all the creativity in the house, it seems like we are always drawing and painting these days. Since becoming a single dad the evenings have always been the hardest for me and this whole lockdown thing has just magnified that. That feeling of being alone and disconnected is horrible. sketching has been a huge way of taking my attention off of that and has helped to keep me in a much more positive headspace. It's been great to look back on all the things we have created and I look forward to putting it all into a fun photo diary for Opeie to look back on. 

"The creative adult is the child who survived."

Day 68:

One thing that I have loved about this lockdown period is the projects, tackling those little jobs that I'd either been putting off or just didn't seem to be able to make time for. Last year when Opeie was deep into his beetle project I decided to up-cycle a bureau for him, beetle style. A place for a Coleoptera enthusiast to keep his entomology books, research material and beetle hunting items. Typical individual homeschool kid never used it and kept all his bits in various sections of the house, so today I thought I'd reclaim it for myself and use it for all my painting and sketching things. Opeie helped me repaint it, the feet had been waiting to be done since I painted it and we found all the creative bits we needed to really make a fun space for me to create. It was the perfect little project to start pulling me out of my funk and it was great getting my sidekick helping too.

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you."

Day 64:

It was one of those rare occasions today where I found myself actually having a bit of time to myself as Opeie happily played with his friends online for a couple of hours. My first thought was 'clean the house?' yeah right! I grabbed a coffee, the watercolours and some music and sat on my bed with the windows opened and painted my do-over for the piece I wasn't happy with yesterday for the #creativelockdownproject word 'bugs'. The word made me think of an afternoon cycling up the Long mynd when we spotted some Bloody-nosed beetles for our ongoing beetle collection. I bloody love beetles!