Saturday 17 August 2013

"The richness of life lies in memories we have forgotten."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Great film and Wise words! Although I've always known this, the past three years have been a shock to the system at just how true the words are. When you have children everything seems to go in to hyper speed so as a doting parent you need to be taking in every moment and grasping them with both hands. Earlier today Mrs M was looking through some old pictures and inevitably Opeie's baby photos cropped up. It had been a while since we had looked through them and I sat down next to Mrs M and was hooked.

It probably sounds bad and it may be just me but its easy to forget exactly what your children were like in the first weeks, of course I've got an image in my head (how I remember him), for me it was one of the first days I held him on my chest and I couldn't take my eyes off him, I was completely in awe of the little person we had created, but when I looked back on the old pictures and videos I realised just how much I had forgotten. He was beautiful, that has never changed but seeing him so vulnerable and new, made me instantly well up.

Looking through the old photos and videos is always amazing but it isn't great for Mrs M's broodiness which over the last few weeks has been getting considerably worse. Mine thankfully had gone into hibernation, that was of course until we clicked on that folder to be greeted by these baby pictures. I would love another child, maybe a little girl and I know Mrs M feels the same. It's such a shame though that we have such complicated pregnancies. That's probably a blessing though as I could see us with 7 or 8 if situations had been different. Mrs M's ultimate argument being 'what if things were different if it was a girl?" What if? When it comes to the 'wanting more babies saga' there's lots of what if's. sorry, as always I've gone off on a tangent a little.

Seeing the photos made me realise just how independent Opeie is these days, he just used to lay there care free kicking his legs and making funny noises. Everything was a lot more delicate, I was petrified I was going to break him some how so was wary of every little thing I did, a big change from the picking him up and throwing him about play fighting that we do these days. I had no idea what I was doing so in some ways would be looking over to Mrs M for some sort of approval that I wasn't making a huge mess of simple tasks, it soon didn't take long though for it all to come naturally.

Mrs M has been saying for well over a year "i wish I could have him as a baby again just for one day", she says exactly the same about Seth. I thought she was a bit crazy but I'm now starting to understand why. As they get older children need you less and less. Although its amazing Opeie having this new 'i can do it' way about him I do miss helping him doing the little things. He is becoming a great little man though, happy, curious, always asking questions and most importantly beautiful inside and out, when he wakes up in the morning the smile on my face is uncontrollable. I realise every day that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and I'm happy.

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