"Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind."

This morning we had a long drive over to the hospital where Seth goes to see his consultant regarding his muscles. Mrs M took him for his appointment while I (as always) did my best to entertain mini me. It's great that the sun has decided to reappear over the last week or so and was actually the driving force for this post.

As we walked across an empty car park (we were looking for a pig on a farm we had driven past on the way in) Opeie noticed his shadow and decided to start racing it. We've had plenty of fun over the years with our shadows but today Opeie was asking lots of questions "when I turn around why does my shadow chase me?" And "where's my shadow gone now" (as we waked past a tree). I asked him what he thought and he said "because it's dark from the tree" (so i explained in more detail) clever boy!

We had some fun making interesting shapes and Opeie asked if we could make a two headed monster.... Tadar!!

We were still looking for that big fat black pig we had seen and decided to walk along the side of the road. Opeie seemed concerned about the safety of our shadows due to the traffic coming from behind but looked amazed as we stood still to see what would happen as a car passed us, our shadows leapt onto the side of the car, amazing!!

Still no pig! We did see an emo looking horse though but he didn't seem all that impressed by us so we carried on looking for shadows, holding things in front of the sun to see what happens. It was a simple way to fill our waiting time but an activity that kept opeie entertained.

After the hospital we dropped Seth at school and found some other things to keep us entertained When we picked him back up we continued our afternoon of Shadow discovery and went for a walk around our local lake...

I love being a dad, every little thing you do on a daily basis can be turned in to a learning activity, if your creative and don't just see a walk as a walk then you can mentally stimulate your child and get them asking question after question.

"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver."

Were so happy to be over all the drama from Friday. Seth's operation went by without issue and we couldn't be more relieved. Friday was a strange day which resulted in Mrs M stopping in with Seth over night and me heading home with Opeie. Although I'm always with Opeie (he's been like an extra limb since day one), I'd never actually spent a night alone with him and the thought of it was making me very anxious. That probably sounds a little over dramatic but Opeie's sleep has always been erratic and he has never slept through. That part I can deal with the problem is that Mrs M feeds him through the night and sadly I am ill equipped to give our growing boy what he wants. I had visions of me driving miles down the motorway in the middle of the night to get him to Mrs M or just being up all night with him screaming.

So while Mrs M took care of our big soldier and kept him entertained on the ward I was doing everything I could do to tire Opeie out in hope for a long sleep from fun exhaustion. It's seems the driving to and fro from the hospital, the entertaining Opeie and the anxiety had unfortunately taken it's toll though and I was dropping off by 8pm  with no sign of Opeie feeling sleepy.

It was a strange feeling being away from Mrs M, it kind of felt like we had broken away Into teams for the night. Although Seth was getting increasing annoyed by his cannula Mrs M's hospital updates were putting a smile on my face and I could never be more thankful for FaceTime I wonder how people ever coped without it.

 

By 9pm Opeie was ready for bed so I sat him down and explained again that mommy wasn't going to be home tonight and it was a little adventure with daddy. Maybe it was luck, exhaustion or that at 3 he fully understood where and why mommy was at the hospital with Seth but he was a real gem and I'm so proud of how he coped with his first night away from Mrs M. He woke up three times but I rocked him straight back off to sleep each time with no tears or issue.

6:15 and he woke with a big smile on his face and eager to go and get his big brother. Mrs M got the thumbs up from the hospital that Seth was being discharged and us boys headed out early  to pick up out well loved cargo. It's amazing how one small change can make such a massive impact on your family life and although the night went by without any problems it made me realise even more how much I love Seth and how much I love and Need Mrs M with me on this amazing adventure through parenthood. As I pulled up outside the hospital and saw Mrs M's hair looking like she'd been dragged through a hedge and hearing Seth tell me how much he loved me and missed me while holding me tight it just made it even more clear how lucky I was and how smitten I am by these three amazing and beautiful people.

"To the patient, any operation is momentous."

No matter how many times people say "when you have children time flies by" it doesn't prepare you for how fast it actually is. Tomorrow Opeie turns three and I really can't believe how quickly that time has gone by. I can happily say though that we have crammed in many adventures along the way and I think he has a great life.

Sadly though there won't be any celebrations tomorrow as the lovely people of the NHS had given us 11 days notice of an operation that Seth needs which has unfortunately landed on Opeie's big day. It seems like we're having to postpone it for a few weeks until we have the time to celebrate it the way we want. I know it can't be helped and at 3 he doesn't really understand but I'm still feeling a little guilty about it but under the circumstances Seth is our main priority.

Seths been going through a roller coaster of emotions which has taken it's toll on him and he's exhausted, the poor thing, but hopefully the op will go by issue free and he'll be back home to relax with us. It's a shame that things like this have spoiled our plans, we had planned a weekend in Brighton and lots of fun for the boys but when you have children sometimes you just need to put things into perspective. Doesn't make it easier that Seth was crying last night saying he had ruined Opeie's birthday, he really does take the wait of the world on his shoulders.

You may not hear from me for a few days but I hope you all have an amazing weekend.

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."

I'm not a very stressy person, i don't generally let things get to me and I'm pretty laid back in most situations (maybe a little to laid back if you were to ask that lovely lady of mine). Mrs M does enough stressing and worrying for the four of us so i try to spend my time calming her down and making things a little easier on her. Last night though was a different story.
 

Opeie woke up after being asleep for a couple of hours screaming and it seemed like he was struggling to breath. Despite my usual laid back/things will be okay attitude, i felt like i was going to have a panic attack and all rational thinking seemed to go out the window. I was fully aware that Seth had been off school that day and had been coughing and was quite unwell but that didn't register at this point. Opeie sounded like he was struggling to breath and i thought the worst. When it comes to your children i don't think you can help feeling this way. As it was the first time Opeie had really been ill i think it just magnified the situation for us as doting parents.

Two years back Seth ended up quite ill and after many trips to the hospital and being told those magic words Doctors learn at medical school over and over again "It's Viral" they finally diagnosed him with having pneumonia. The month leading up to that point was very stressful and upsetting and the two weeks that Seth spent in hospital brought on many tears, but during that time i felt like i was the strong one, calming Mrs M down where i could.
 

It came to my attention last night though that with Opeie being my child, my feelings were different and as i said before my rational thoughts had vanished. Seth is always treated like he's my boy and i don't like to think that i feel differently about them but clearly I'm not the overly panicky parent with Seth because i know he has many other people around him to make sure he's okay.When i think about it I'm bound to act a little differently as me and Opeie are practically joined at the hip and Seth has another life outside of us three.

Thankfully it wasn't anything serious last night and clearly he had just picked up what Seth has got and was struggling to clear the mucus, That mixed with a high temperature and the shakes was very frightening, obviously for us and him. It made me think how lucky we are that he is such a healthy child over all (thanks to Mrs M's magical produce). It's a grim thought but i don't know what i would do if anything happened to him but i can be safe in the knowledge that the one thing that does knock my laid back attitude clean off its feet is the development of my boy, the most important thing of all.

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that Matters" - Audreyhepburn

I always put the important things first, the people I care about will always be my main priority. You don't know how long your going to get with these people so you should cherish the time you do have.

It's probably a gloomy way to start a post and its not usually how I come across but as I sit in a hospital waiting area with a family member it makes me realise even more how special this life is. Thankfully there's no negativity surrounding this visit, it's the aftermath of what has been and gone, but sitting here just makes me realise how happy I am with Mrs M and the boys. I feel so lucky to have people that care about me and I will never take that for granted.