"You don't get older, you get better."

"Dad go back to sleep!" was the first thing that I heard yesterday morning as I drifted in and out of consciousness. His adorable command became cuter and cuter though and eventually woke me up with a smile on my face. It was my Birthday. There was secret stuff going on and they weren't ready for a fully awake Birthday boy! when you get older your birthday starts to just become another day of the week, but when you have children the Birthday excitement starts again. I love the sneaking around Birthday build up "Dad don't come in the room" and "Did you just hear what we were just talking about?" as I walk past a room in the house.

The sneakiness makes me feel really special and I love the effort that the boys go to. As I fully opened my eyes and gave Opeie a HUGE hug, Seth came walking through the door with the most amazing looking raw cheesecake with homemade raw peanut butter cups topping and candles flickering away on top . It was the tastiest breakfast I could have asked for and an awesome start to another amazing Birthday with my favourite 2 people

(I know what you are all thinking 'he must be older than 12?!')

"Being a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful."

I'm not usually a fan of being woken up early in the morning before I'm ready to get out of bed. For the last 6 and a half years though it has pretty much become the norm. Becoming a father means giving up many of the luxuries that you become quite accustomed to over the years, which doesn't sound great, but what you get in its place is a sense of purpose and an unconditional love that you could never get anywhere else. Becoming a dad for me was my defining moment, and from that moment I felt like my life had finally started and everything about this new path was glowing.

Every day feels like fathers day to me and being the stay at home parent makes me feel like that even more. Yesterday as I was woken by the usual "Daaaaaaad" it seemed like the start of every other amazing family morning but this time, there was an extra pitch of excitement in Opeie's voice and he wanted me awake right away because he had something very important he wanted to give me. Walking through the house and seeing colourful decorations everywhere and handmade cards are going to make any doting father feel very special.

Yesterday as always was a great day and that amazing little boy of mine that fills my world with complete happiness yet again reinforced the importance of having a loving and caring family around me. It was a shame that Seth wasn't there too but we have more than made up for it after school today by starting a new project so we can spend some quality creative time together. 

The only thing that did get me a little down yesterday was thinking about my own dad and how disappointed I am that he let our relationship go the way that it did. We're on different paths now but I will always hope that he is happy. Becoming a parent isn't something you go into lightly, you have to make an enormous amount of effort every day to make sure your children develop in the happy and content way that they should. I can go to sleep every night knowing that I have done everything I can to show them how much I adore them both and how proud I am of the little gents they've become.

Happy belated fathers day to all you amazing dads out there!

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction."

Almost 4 years of co-sleeping and this week Opeie has finally asked to sleep in the 'big boy bed'. For Christmas the only thing Seth had asked for from Santa was a bunk bed. So when they woke up on Christmas morning to find a huge thing wrapped up in their room, Seth had visions of Opeie joining him straight away.  I think Seth was a little jealous that we all slept in the same bed, like he was missing out on something and this was his chance to claim back some fun boy time with his little brother. 

Sadly despite having something new to throw a sheet over and make a base with, Opeie showed absolutely no interest in wanting to spend the night there, poor Seth. On Sunday night though he surprised us all by very politely requesting the bottom bunk for his evening of slumber. We were all very shocked.

We expected the novelty to wear off after five minutes, followed by 'can I sleep in your bed?' But he got all cosy, asked for a cuddle and dropped off with no effort from me. It was a dream come true. He woke up a couple of times for a drink and i had to get in with him around 3am (which I've done every night so far). But he's now on night six and going strong. We've told him if he makes it through the week he can have a Paddington bear for being good (I was inspired by a story Auntie Lottie told me about her sky dancer back when we were little).

Mrs M isn't liking the change of him not being in bed but it will do him good now to feel a little more independent. Clearly he was ready for the transition as the change was on his terms not ours. Its great to see him making big decisions for himself and i couldn't be more proud of the way he is developing.

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."

I only wrote about Polly a month or so ago but she's brought us so much happyness that it was only right to give our little cutie another shout out. It's amazing the effect having a cat around the house can have on the family. Although she does seem to get under my feet a little at times and I'm still waiting to wake up to the Christmas tree lying on its side, she has been the greatest gift we've had this year. Despite my reservations on getting a pet i have fallen in love with her, she sleeps most of the day and appears to have a grumpy attitude to go with it but when shes in the mood for a fuss (or hears the fridge door open) she is the most delightful little thing.

"Raising children is an uncertain thing; success is reached only after a life of battle and worry."

This time last year i was about to write a post about our Halloween celebrations, We had brought tickets to go to Blists Hill and Mrs M made me up to look like a zombie. Well almost a year has passed and i find myself feeling exactly how i looked that night, like a zombie. Opeie has had some major dietry issues over the years that have made him poorly but hes never actually had an illness, well that was until last night.

For such a laid back guy it's amazing how quickly I went in to stress mode. Maybe it's a stomach bug, maybe something he ate but our little boy was being continuously sick last night and I couldn't bear to go to sleep as I was stressing he was going to throw up in the  night and choke so I stayed up. He must have woke up 20+ times and looked so uncomfortable the poor thing, I could have cried. When your feeling poorly yourself it's terrible but when it's your child the stress and worry is far much worse than that. I managed to catch a few hours at 6am but I don't feel much better for it. Opeie seems a little better this morning but I think it's going to be a long day. Plenty of cuddles and 'The Cat in the Hat' for us I think.

 

Writing from the drivers seat - killing time with a sleepy child in the backseat

It's been a while since writing one of my life from the drivers seat posts, Opeie hasn't done much napping in the car recently and with Seth being off school we couldn't really be sitting around for hours anyhow, it wouldn't be fair on him. Today though after dropping Mrs M off at work, the plan was to pop over to nanny and grandads so they could see the boys. Opeie was exhausted and soon dropped off so when we got there Seth went in to entertain the excited grandparents and auntie Lotty, and me? well I have this quiet half an hour to blog away.

I cant believe that there's only a week or so of the summer holiday left, i don't know where the time has gone. Seth has Informed me that he doesn't feel ready to go back to school yet and also that he would prefer it if he had the weekdays off and the weekends for school. I'm not sure the government and education board would go for that but you never know it may be worth putting in writing. 

The school years go by so much quicker as a parent than I remember them going as a child. I don't remember all that much of infant and junior school, i have really hazy memory around that time apart from dressing up like a tea pot, Morris dancing in the playground, and marrying my girlfriend from age 8-11 in front of the school for our leavers assembly while parents sobbed. (it was a bizarre way to leave school at 11), that pretty much sums up my school life ages 5-11. It's no secret that I hated secondary school, I did the work but I never felt comfortable apart from when I was in my art class, it wasn't a great time for me. That being said I did have some fun friends and time outside of school was always filled with adventure.

It would be amazing being a child again and I always say how i'd love to see things through the boys eyes for just one day. I don't envy them having to go through school though and as a parent that has been through a crappy time at school i do worry that they will have a rough time too. If our situation had been different we would be home schooling the boys but sadly that's not an option.

It will be interesting to see how the boys turn out, they are having a great start and are kind well rounded children with parents that will back them up with anything they decide to do so i think they will be just fine.

"Childhood is the sleep of reason."

Opeie's new favourite role playing activity in the house is making a bed for his toys and making sure they are comfy and tucked up. It seems that any time of the day is appropriate and once they've got their heads down they are expected to stay there for quite sometime. I can't help but think 'why has he not taken a leaf out of his play routine and opted to sleep through the night?' Spider-Man doesn't seem to have a choice.

Opeie has never slept through the night and many nights end up being a constant battle......... For Mrs M haha. I'd love to help but my lack of the mammary gland and the fact that a brass band could walk through our room and I wouldn't wake up makes it virtually impossible. With enough kicking though I have been known to open a window, plug the fan in and get Opeie medicine when he's ill so I'm not all bad and i do get up in the mornings early so Mrs M can have a catch up.

Hopefully Opeie will start sleeping properly soon but the fact that he is such a boobie monster is the main problem (wonder where he gets that from?). Maybe if Opeie keeps making beds around the house for his toys eventually he will realise the importance of sleep. He even puts toys to bed when were out and about last week at the toy museum he took the cushion off a sofa in the dolls house and tucked the postman in.

Mrs M had an old new born crib that we had been using as a magazine rack since we moved in so we emptied it, made a mattress and looked for suitable bedding for Opeie's favourite super hero. I found a little patterned pillow from Ikea for him and put it in and Opeie looked at me with a really disappointed face then removed said cushion. I couldn't work out why he seemed so annoyed until he came bopping across the room clutching his spider-man head cushion (silly daddy). I'm really loving how he knows what he wants and is quite independent.

I thought his little bed was complete but Opeie had obviously gone in to dad mode and knew what was best for his new little boy. Turns out that Spider-man doesn't get a decent nights sleep unless he's wearing a pair of safety goggles, I'll have to let Mrs M in on that little tip.

"Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments"

I love those beautiful moments that you get from your children. They wouldn't mean anything to anyone else but as their parents they are the sort of moments that make your heart melt. Opeie fell asleep in the car while on Our way to drop Mrs M at work. We pulled up outside and as Mrs M got out of the car he woke up waved at her and went back to sleep. I could feel myself welling up it was so adorable. I'm really starting to see now why Mrs M always says she doesn't want the boys to grow up. I'm definitely enjoying this age the most. The thought of him going to school is really starting to fill me with dread.