Waiting in the drivers seat again while Opeie sleeps, it just seems like the norm these days...
I had an awful morning a few days back and was left feeling very disappointed and quite upset. The care of our children is not to be taken lightly, it takes effort and patience but as I sat that morning at Opeie's nursery and watched a little boy sitting facing a wall (alone), crying and with no one trying to comfort him, calm him down or include him in any of the group activities I thought to myself 'what the hell are we doing here'. I'd rather not have anyone looking after Opeie but us and if I'm honest it annoys me that someone is getting paid to spend time with my best friend but I know being around other children is what Opeie needs at the moment for his development.
Myself and Mrs M spent a lot of time talking about what we wanted for Opeie in regards to care outside of our family and when a nursery came along that suited us I was happy and prepared to place my trust and child in their hands. But as I watched the poor child that morning screaming for his mom and left to get on with it I felt guilty that I was attempting to leave Opeie there while he himself was very upset.
If I'd have left and a parent had told me that's how Opeie had been left I'd have been devastated, not to mention furious. I want and expect a lot more for my child, the boy that has filled me with so much happiness over the years. What would you have done? Well we left, Opeie was really upset and there was no way I was going to leave him to (in my head) possibly be ignored. I was almost in tears myself and the only reason I didn't go and comfort the little boy myself was because I was trying to calm Opeie down.
There's two sides to every story which I am fully aware of and until I hear that side then I won't be making any rash decisions I just hate that guilty feeling and I'm not used to questioning myself in regards to the big decisions we make for our family. It was a very stressful couple of days.
I know the title of this post doesn't seem to fit the rest of the post but i hadn't been in the best mood that day which can be difficult when trying to entertain a child in a fragile mood. I wasn't going to write the post but as a sat in the car outside Seth's school while Opeie slept I switched on my console (which goes everywhere with me) and felt a sigh of relief. There's something quite comforting about those quiet moments, switching on my 3ds and switching the rest of the world off briefly. I can always rely on Nintendo to de-stress me when I'm feeling down and when Opeie woke up I could continue my day a little less on edge.
Now back to my game...
