Thursday 7 February 2013

Playing with your children... "unless you're a moron, why wouldn't you get bored?"

Nothing on the internet has made me angry until today, there's so much rubbish about to read but it can all be taken with a pinch of salt. I love writing the blog but I don't tend to sit on the computer for hours reading articles and posts that don't draw me in straight away. My friend Alice from bigmilkthing sent me this article and even though I'm a really laid back guy that doesn't let anything get to me, this made my blood boil and I am really disappointed that someone like parentdish would publish it. First the article:

(click the link below)


Why playing with your children can be (whisper it) a little bit boring

I was limited to 3000 characters in the comment box so I thought something like this needed to be put in to a post as it is relevant to blog and what I'm all about as a parent, so here is my (extended response).

When i found out me and my partner were expecting our first child I knew that I wanted my son to completely adore me, I mean what father wouldn't? i didn't have a great relationship with my own father growing up and I didn't want that for me and my children. I have a step son from my partners previous relationship who on a daily basis tells me that I am his best friend and am also his favourite person to play with, this isn't because he is shy and he doesn't have issues talking to other children, he is a very outgoing child.. This has nothing to do with me being a 'moron' and I'm not even sure what 'obsessed parents' is supposed to mean? 

 The problem isn't that your children are boring its that firstly most parents seem to have no idea how to talk or communicate at all to their children, you don't have to talk to them in baby talk or act like an idiot. Just talk to them like adults and if they don't understand what your saying then explain what you mean (sadly parents think their lives are to hectic for this level of commitment). The second major issue is that most parents have no imagination and rather than actually listen to what their children are talking about and get involved they would rather make a coffee, put their feet up and apparently watch Jeremy Kyle,  if what i hear on the school playground is anything to go by. 

Try and think back to when you were a child, what did you love to do? My eldest loves hearing stories about all the things I got up to growing up and these stories open up his own imagination. I used to love 'making bases' so how hard is it to take a couple of hours to make a base in the house with some sheets? Lego was a big thing for me when i was younger and I have introduced my boys to this and its something we do together when the weather isn't great and were stuck indoors. My boys love playing dress up and Ive been known to don a Captain America outfit and run around with them playing 'The Avengers', it puts a smile on their faces and if you don't want that as a parent then it says a lot about your parenting skills. 

All it takes is a little effort and some imagination. I play with my boys everyday which is why I started our blog as a kind of online diary for them to look back on and also to show other parents that read the blog that spending time with your children is a never ending amount of fun. Your commitment to your children doesn't end at changing nappies, cooking food and bathing etc. I have a feeling that the article was written to make waves and get a response, I'm quite shocked that parentdish have posted such offensive material and to label a parent a moron for wanting to get involved in the development of their child is a ridiculous comment to make. 

Your children want to spend time with you, they want you to interact with them and take an interest in what they are doing, this may not always be the case, these could be the golden years in your time as a parent so you should be making the most of every spare minute you have with them. Yes you have many mundane things to do, we all do but if you communicate with your children and explain that sometimes adults have grown up things to take care of but you still take some time to give them the attention they deserve then they will understand and in time respect you for that. 

Too many parents that I come in to contact with seem to have gone in to the whole parenting thing half arsed. When you decide to have children it is a huge commitment, yes your going to have to watch Children's TV and play with toys but your making them happy, Isn't this the thing you want the most? a happy family and children that want to spend time with you? I cant believe that in the article there were so many ridiculous comments from apparent parents. I'll be honest i just feel sorry for the children as apparently "parts of the business of child-rearing are, frankly, dull.". I could go on and on but i feel that doing so would just make me more and more angry. I love and respect my children, I'm there when their happy, I'm there when their sad and I'm there if they want me to build them a hideout in the back garden and dress up like a super villain. Its all part of being a great parent.

I will agree with one part of the article though the "creaking knees" can be a pain.

Anyway rant over, I'm happy in the fact that I am putting everything I can it to my relationship with my boys.

Pauly (a doting, not obsessed parent)


Sam said...

Totally agree

Alice said...

Pauly you summed it up perfectly and you have inspired me to make changes and be a less lazy parent in the time I have been lucky enough to know you and I hope this inspires others

Rebecca Beesley said...

love it! So right and so true! I couldn't wait for my babies to grow up enough to play with (and even as tiny babies i read to them, and did peek-a-boo, and sang songs). What I struggle with now is as much as i love to spend time with them, because i am in effect their teacher too for schoolwork, and i have all the household chores to keep under some sort of control, I don't get to commit as much quality time to them as i would like to. We are learning though to make home school more fun - we had a great time at the park on monday, daddy took the boys to the farm yesterday whilst me and T went to toddler group and we went to the firestation today and we loved every second. Kids are such fun - i'd rather join in what they're doing any day. x

GiftsFromThePirates said...

Thanks for reading, no parent can give their child 100% of their time and attention (your kids clearly have a great life by the way!) its impossible, i was just so shocked that the parents didn't want to play with their children. i hear it all the time at the school, parents going on like giving their kids attention is a chore. And the person that said you'd have to be a moron to enjoy playing with your children... have you ever heard anything so ridiculous from a parent. what worries me is the amount of parents out there that are like that. I'm really shocked that they published the article. xxx

GiftsFromThePirates said...

thanks alice thats really kind of you, your always doing things with the boys though they are 2 happy children. Thanks for sending me the article even if it did annoy me haha xx

GiftsFromThePirates said...

thank you, a little effort goes a long way xx

Anonymous said...

I was struck by how many people commented that children don't play well and found this revealing - surely it is indicative of a certain lack of empathy and engagement on the part of parents who seem unable to comprehend that a child would approach play differently to an adult.

GiftsFromThePirates said...

it really was a stupid comment to make. personally i think that most of the people that she has quoted have just made themselves look like terrible parents. but then there seems to be a lot of them about. Thanks for the comment x

GiftsFromThePirates said...

i think its difficult for many parents to understand innocence. Of course a child is going to approach things differently everything is new and exciting for them. I, as a parent cherish life and the time i have with my boys so i think that makes it easier for me to interact with them because i actually want to be there. as for the amount of comments in the article, at first i thought it may have been exaggerated, but then i thought about all the things ive heard in the school playground over the years. There are many parents out there that have this take on the time spent with their children. i find it all quite upsetting. thanks for the comment x

snowingindoors said...

What an infuriating article and including a quote suggesting people that 'manage' to play with their children are morons was plain rude.
It does sound like she's writing for the shock value and I imagine posts like those generate far more comments than others. Have you looked at the titles of her other articles? "How do you dress your children? For your enjoyment or theirs?", "Do your young children control you?" or "How do YOU get a break from your kids?". She definitely sounds like she has a view on children and parenting and is writing a slew of one sided articles that show her as the put upon woman with thoughtless children who dare to behave like children!
If playing with you kiddos, making dens and building with Lego makes you a moron then I am proud to be that moron! x

Natural.Vegan.Eco.Mom said...

I can not believe that Parent Dish employ her to write articles! I can think of so many others that would be more suited. It is offensive and wrong.

Can you imagine how her children will feel in a decade to come? Highly under valued I should imagine, and very under appreciated.

Children are only young once, we should enjoy everything that comes with that. If that makes me a Moron, then I am happy to stand in the 'Moron' side , along with all the other playful, caring, imaginative people!

GiftsFromThePirates said...

After writing the reply/post last night i read the rest of her articles and they were just as ridiculous. I can't believe this 'mother' has such a distorted view on parenting. All of the articles come from a very selfish viewpoint and as pointed out by Natural.Vegan.Eco.Mom i too can not believe this person is paid for her views. And all the parents that have had their comments published should really take a step back and look at how they are bringing up their children. Thanks for reading though and its nice to know I'm not the only 'moron' about xx

GiftsFromThePirates said...

Thanks for reading, you've made a great point there, it didn't even cross my mind about the writers children reading this years down the line. At least they will have a clear understanding of the way they were brought up. I just hope they don't grow up thinking that is the correct way to behave. It would be a shame to think that another generation of this family would have to go through the same rubbish. xx